krishanna.com :: as the crow flies

What About Free Speech & Responsibility?

Okay, people. Can we please ease up on the political correctness here?

First, there was the outcry this week over Don Imus again:

I noticed it this week only because hearing about it vaguely annoyed me. But I was pre-occupied with more pressing matters so I didn't linger on it.

This morning, I checked my morning e-mail and found an e-mail asking me to sign a petition to let Kathy Lee Gifford her latest dumb ass crap had pissed off a bunch of pagans.

Oy Vai.

Here's what Kathy Lee Gifford did and said:

Now, because I identify as a pagan, I am automatically supposed to get my bloomers bunched up over this?

FIRST:  I say bullshit. So you don't like what Kathy Lee Gifford said. Big deal. That doesn't mean you get to shut her up. Sorry. You can bitch about she said. You can start petitions to make her apologize for what she says. But that doesn't mean she will shut up or her employers will censor her or force her to apologize.

Last time I checked, I live in America and you know what? I can say whatever the hell I want about anyone I want because we have a little thing here called Free Speech. I may not like what people say but they have the right to say them without fear of losing their jobs or harassment or censorship.

SECOND: So Kathy Lee referred to pagans as "bad and nasty". Does anyone in this country not know what an ignorant, vapid, dunder-headed ancient bag of dusty wind Kathy Lee Gifford actually is? Hello? Is KATHY LEE GIFFORD'S  uneducated, narrow-minded stupid ass OPINION really that big of a deal?

THIRD: As a pagan-type person, I want to  know who the bad guys are.  I want to know who doesn't like me. I don't want them hiding off in the shadows making idiotic, insipid dumbass comments where I can't see or hear them.  I want them front and center for all the world to see.

"Well", said someone today as we were discussing this, "with that logic I guess it would be fine with you if a pedophile moved into your neighborhood because they have a right to live, right?"

Would I be "fine" with it? No. I wouldn't care to have a pedo in my neighborhood, especially if I had kids. BUT, the pedo has a right to live anywhere he wants as long as he follows the rules, goes to therapy AND DOESN'T DO ANY KID TOUCHING OR RAPING OF ANY KIND. We live in a free society and because it's free, all kinds of people get to live wherever they want.

What about what happened to that guy in California, recently? He only said he was obsessed with kids and thought about touching them and they ran him out of the fucking state. True enough, he was wacko- certifiable. True enough, he got put in the pokey because he wouldn't keep away from the grade school after the court order forbid him to be within 400 yards or something of it. But chasing him out of his home because of what he might do? That was wrong. Better safe than sorry you might think but I think we tread on dangerous ground when we begin participating in mob mentality. Very dangerous ground.

So I may not like it and it may worry me but the pedo still has the right to live wherever he wants to live. Once he violates the rules and touches ANY kid, I'll sign every damn petition that comes down the pike and do whatever I can to get him and keep him out of my neighborhood. Get the fuck out and don't come back. Have a terrific, incarcerated life, you piece of shit rat bastard.

"You'd feel differently if you had kids. You'd want to know your kids are safe".

Uhm, wouldn't that be my responsibility? As a parent it'd be up to me to protect my kid, right? I'll tell you, I'd have ZERO FUCKING PROBLEM telling my kid:

"See that person who lives in the green house on the corner"?

"Yes, Mommy."

"Well, stay way from them. You have my permission to ignore that person. You don't have to say hello or be polite to them. If they touch you or come near you, scream your head off and run away from them as fast as you can. That's a bad, sick person and they hurt children so stay away from them".

And if they didn't stay away from the weirdo on the corner, we'd be having some chats and some grounding going on at my house.  Sometimes, a little healthy fear is good for a kid.

So, do I like what Don Imus or Kathy Lee said? Not particularly. I also consider the source. Kathy Lee Gifford is an ignorant sack of aging wind and Don Imus is a dinosaur. I'd tell my kid to run away from them screaming too.

What about you?

More Dear Doctor Fun

Well, just to show me... Dear Doctor's office returned my call about 4PM.

I still did not speak to the doctor directly.

NURSE 1: I got a message here that you called Dear Doctor for a referral for a new doctor?

ME: Yes.

NURSE 1: Well, Dear Doctor cannot automatically refer you to a new doctor. Can you SEND US A LIST (emphasis mine) of the physicians in your network and if he knows any of them, he will be happy to recommend them.

ME: I need to provide you with a list? Are you telling me Dear Doctor doesn't have the name of a doctor who can provide me with the level of care he can without looking at a list *I* send him?

NURSE 1:  Yes.

Motherfucker. I even have to provide a name for my own fucking recommendation.

ME: Well, you know, I really don't think I care to go to all the trouble to do that. You guys have already inconvenienced and insulted my intelligence enough for one day. But, perhaps he knows of the new physician I intend to visit. Her name is Hopefully Competent, MD and she works of the Hospital Dear Doctor left to be a part of your retarded three-ring circus family practice.

NURSE 1: Well, I'll pass this information on to Dear Doctor and give you a jingle back.

ME: I'll wait with baited breath.

About 10 minutes later, another nurse from Dear Doctor's office called me.

NURSE 2: This is Perky Unhelpful Nurse 2 at Dear Doctor's office.  Unfortunately, Dear Doctor doesn't know Hopefully Competent MD.

What a fucking surprise.

NURSE 2: I am sorry this has happened. Unfortunately this does happen sometimes when you switch insurance. My husband had to go through this very thing last year so I know it is devastating.

Uh, hello ? You fuckers STILL aren't listening to me and if it's so "devastating" why the fuck do you do it?

ME: Wait a minute! Just hold it! this has nothing to do with MY insurance company.  My insurance company called YOUR business office and wanted to make it so I could continue to see Dear Doctor.  YOUR BUSINESS OFFICE has refused to accept my insurance. It has ZERO to do with my insurance and everything to do with YOUR business office.

NURSE 2: Oh. So this has to do with our policies and not your insurance?

"CLICK" goes the lightbulb.

ME: That would be correct.

(long pause)

NURSE 2: Oh. Well. I'm very sorry we cannot help you.

ME: Well, a few hours ago I might agree with you. But I don't now because even if Jesus came down and visited your business office and made them see the light, I would still need to take a big pass on ever being treated in that office again.

What is too bad is that Dear Doctor is a good doctor and I was very pleased with  his medical expertise and attention; it's your business office that sucks big time. I have had to see a lot of doctors in the last 10 years regarding my spinal cord injury and I have NEVER been treated so poorly or not been allowed to speak with to my doctor when I specifically asked to do so. And as long as Dear Doctor is hooked up with your outfit, I'll seek medical treatment elsewhere. I have enough going on without being treated like an inconvenient commodity.

(long pause)

NURSE 2: Well, I wish we could help but apparently we can't. Oh and the doctor says your prescriptions will need to be refilled by your new physician.

No surprise there, either.

ME: I figured as much.

And that was the end of that.

So, once I have calmed down enough to write a decent letter, I will once again write to Dear Doctor because I am not at all sure he ever received the first one. And to make sure he will receive it, Manthing said he will have a chat with him at his next appointment and hand deliver a copy of the letter to him, in case Dear Doctor never receives the second one.

Because as Eden has pointed out in the past, there's a chance he doesn't know what is going on. Still, it seems to me that he'd want to make it his business to know. I'll post a copy here once it's done.

Is There A "Miniweeiner" In The House?

This arrived in our snail mailbox recently.*

I think I shall return it marked "Return to sender. No Miniweeiners at this address".

See what happens when you whine about your boring life? You get junk mail for Thom Miniweeiner.

And we don't even have a deck here...

 

*As usual, click on the image to see a larger version.

Can you believe it?

I had just about gotten over pneumonia and boom... coughing, sneezing and snorting. AGAIN.

I have cold or a sinus infection or some kind of upper respiratory gunk.

Well, at least I am not wheezing and hacking up a lung.

I am so over this.

P.S. There's an entry over on my writing blog about creativity and time. Let me know what you think, if you get a moment!

The Receptionist

My appointment was for 11:45 AM.

I arrived at 11:25 AM.

I signed in as usual and confirmed with the receptionist that my insurance had not changed since my last visit.

I sat down in the waiting room smack in front of the door to the Inner Sanctum at 11:27 AM.

I called up a recent Keith & Girl Show on my Zen ( since being ill I'm a bit behind on my listening) and watched people filter in a filter out as I listened to Keith and Chemda talk about Celebrity Rehab.

At 12:05 PM, I hit hit the pause button, got up, went to the front desk and asked the receptionist if she would please find out how late my doctor was running.

"What time was your appointment?", she asked as she glanced at the clock.

"11:45".

"Well, it's only 12:06. As soon as they have a room free, I'm sure they will come and get you".

"But that isn't what I asked you. I asked you to please find out how late he is running", I replied as patiently and carefully as I could.

" I answered you, M'AAM. As soon as they have a room available someone will call you".

I stood there and just looked at her a minute and said, "You don't get it", from behind my raised my eyebrow.

I have no idea if she responded in any way because I had turned my back on her and returned to my seat.

I touched the "play" button on my Zen and sat watching her as she worked, like a little bug behind glass, noticing her over-processed blonde hair needed a touch up under the cheap plastic headband she wore and stuck out like straw from a scarecrow's hat. Her eyebrows weren't just tweezed pencil thin but shaved; rearranged and arched unnaturally with a pencil on her forehead. She was concentration camp thin and her red lipstick made her look vampiric.

This silent scrutiny must have made her extremely uncomfortable because a few minutes later after a few furtive  sideways glances at me through the glass, she opened the window and said: "I'm sure it won't be long."

I remained unmoved. Only a slight nod of my head  interrupted my steady gaze in her direction.

This clearly irritated her.

At 12:20 PM, my name was called and I went in to see the doctor.

My doctor doesn't act like my time is less valuable than his. Neither do his nurses.

I wondered why then, his front desk staff would behave differently. Because honestly, I don't give a shit whether you actually feel that way or not. All you have to do in a situation like this is pretend that you do. You don't even have to be happy about it.

But I called the office manager when I got home to discuss my  reception experience and was told that:

"Our receptionists would never get their work done if they called the nurse's station every time a patient wanted to know how late the doctor was running".

"Uh, isn't that part of their job description?"

"The physicians in this practice hired me to run the office as I see fit.  They trust me to keep things moving".

"But that isn't what I asked you...nevermind. Maybe there will be a new office manager  next time I need to see my doctor".

One can only hope, eh?

Sorry Folks

I have had to put comments back on moderation because of crazy-ass spammers who leave shit like this in my comments:

"Europe shaped like a sheep, symbolic for slaughter:::Know who your enemies are. The Italians fucked up our society. Now the gods got them into place to CHEAT you out of the Final Prophet. Italians preyed on blacks in 20th century (WWIIs Port Chicago parlayed into civil rights) and now blacks have adopted their thug-life charecteristics. Asians know very well that the Japanese are their enemy.  But you people let your enemy do it to you over and over again. The gods offered us Italy shaped like a boot and Scandanavia shaped like a penis pissing on Europe for a reason::::To help you avoid these poeple and the potential danger they bring."

And that was only the first paragraph of several.  I lost count at 6.

What were they responding to? My post last week entitled: No. B-U-S Pirates.
Worse than I hate bigotry and homophobia and I HATE spammers. They are disgusting parasites.

Troubling

In between collages, soldering pendants and altering cabinet cards, I have been chewing on something.  I had a difficult time figuring out how to tell you the story without betraying confidences and telling tales out of school so to speak. But friends advise to stay close to my experience and I was reminded the other day of the value of using *I* statements when communicating with others. I learned how to do that when I got sober two decades ago and I'd like to think it has morphed into part of my life. I could be rusty though.

Anyway, it started innocently enough a few months ago.

I periodically feel a certain pull to connect to other women "of-a-like-mind" online because I have so few around me offline. While Manthing is easily my best friend and soft place to fall and M, my good male friend and colleague are awesome, they aren't women.

I decided it was time to delurk in some online women's groups I've belonged to forever and become more active online. It seemed it was time to do this. Nothing in particular precipitated it. Sometimes, it's just time to do something. More active meant doing more than just blogging here every so often and staying cloistered in my own little slice of internet heaven. It meant  talking and interacting with others beyond the frequent blog comments and e-mails.

Anyway, because I belong to a majority of women's spirituality groups online, there's a fair amount of political and feminist discussion that goes on.  My attitudes about things are pretty moderate. I accept most ways of thinking and lifestyles and the choices people make for themselves.

Happily,  I can say I have met some exemplary women of a like mind with whom I can correspond and collaborate with. They make me wonder why we are all spread out over the country and wish we were closer in distance.

But recently I ran into something that was intriguing at first and then troubling. I was wondering how to write about it without betraying confidences. Yesterday I received this link as part of a writing exercise for a writing group I participate and then I see BLC posted it a few days ago in her blog. So it seemed time to address it and I have worked on this for a few days and think I have succeeded maintaining anonymity for the people involved.

I have no problem with transgender people. But most of the transgender people I know are out about it. They have no problem with the world knowing about it.  The situation I find troubling is when there is someone who is a male to female transexual on feminist and women's spirituality lists and they will not disclose that information to the women participating in the groups with them.  I feel it is disingenuous at best and downright lying at worst, especially in online women's groups that are supposed to be a safe, and secure space for women of a like mind. In person, you can clearly see what's going on. Over the Internet, not so much.

Aside from other issues that seem to exist for this person, when I read the article I realized there was nothing any of her friends could do for her because she is in hiding. Only a few know and I know only because I figured it out from hearing scuttlebutt and seeing a photograph. At first I didn't have trouble with it until I realized that she is not open about it.

I certainly understand the fear of rejection but I would be pissed off  and hurt if I had forged a friendship with her, only to discover later that she had omitted a huge part of her life. She lives in constant fear that those who do know about her will tell everyone they know, even to the point of kicking people out of her life before they can kick her out of theirs.

I have no problem that she is transgender. I have no problem that she is a transgender woman participating in women's groups.  I have a problem that she is not being honest and open with others around her who may choose to confide in her. She is building friendships and associations based on false pretenses and it seems to me you stand a lot more to lose if you willingly omit important information; not to mention the hurt and damage you could cause by lying. It is very self-serving and thoughtless.

Clearly, it's not up to me to out her the people she forges friendships with but it sure seems dishonest not only to the people around you but to oneself. I also know how difficult it can to be vastly different from everyone yet she is also the first to slap a label on someone who doesn't agree with her view on things, condemn them, resort to name calling and insist that anyone who doesn't see things her way is against her.

I don't get it.  Do you?

Shut Up. I'm Busy.

I've been busy. My brain has been busy. I am doing real life important things.

Busy with adjusting to the summer pain level I learn to readjust to and tolerate every year. Busy with getting work done for the two art shows in August. Busy cleaning up the studio so I can be photographed at work.Busy with writing. Busy with the search for a new job. Busy stressing and obsessing about money stuff. Busy with Outside the Lines stuff. Busy attempting not to beat myself up for whatever I feel like I am not doing as well as I should be doing it.

I mean, I am busy with important shit here.

And PERHAPS it is because I am busy that I have found myself the last few weeks talking back to the television a lot more lately.

Do I care that Paris Hilton is in the clink? Or that Nicole Ritchie is knocked-up? Is it really necessary for me to have an opinion about David Hasselhoff's custody issues? Why do I care that Alec Baldwin and screamed at his child inappropriately? Do I need to be subjected to the toddler fights on the View AND not only pick a side but also have an opinion? I won't choose a side. My opinion is simply this: both sides are equally obnoxious and that there is some middle ground that they can meet on, if only they'd get their asses down from around their ears.

Why are any of these things NEWSWORTHY?

And what about this Andrew Speaker, Mr. TB Guy? Okay, it was enough when he got up on morning television and blubbered his apology while adamantly complaining about being unfairly cast as inconsiderate, irresponsible, thoughtless, and clearly self-absorbed. So you're a newlywed who can't kiss or bone your new bride for the next 6 months. I feel for you, buddy. I'd suggest using some the next six months determining if procreating is something you really need to do. I hope the honeymoon was fucking worth it, bonehead. Maybe you'll think twice next time when your medical team tells you they'd "prefer" that you not go anywhere until after you've been treated for a dangerous airborne disease.

Everyone now knows what dick he is and that he isn't coping well with being held accountable for his own actions and choices. I was done hearing about his stupid-ass. He wasn't contagious and no one will probably get sick because of his poor decision making skills. And if someone does, I hope he gets what with surely be coming to him. But, really couldn't we just move on?

Hell no.

I turned on my television the morning after his weepy, crocodile tear-filled interview and was subjected to his family STICKING UP for the guy. I was amazed at how outraged THEY were that everyone in the world was ticked off because TB Guy was jet-setting all over Europe. What the hell? He may not have meant to put anyone in harm's way and he may be a nice guy. But he still made really, really, fucking stupid decision and you all supported him on doing it. Intent doesn't make the what he chose to do different. Just because he "didn't mean" to hurt or upset anyone doesn't change the outcome.

It's a real brain trust there, I'll tell you. It's no wonder the guy can't make reality-based decisions. Clearly his parents and in-laws are from another reality far, far away from the one most of us live in.

Just shut the fuck up, Andrew,  and take your medicine like a big boy.