Please Untease Me

I was supposed to deliver a Gasbag last week but alas I was too blurped to get it up because I had been in California for 10 days visiting my mother and sister. So, now, here, today is my first Gasbag installment.

What many of you might not know about me is that I am a fan of bad television. Bad reality TV. Many Sunday afternoons find me watching bad reality tv while I do laundry or surf the internet researching all manner of interests and ideas for writing or art.

I used to watch the Anna Nicole Show as close to faithfully as one can watch a train wreck in slow motion on a weekly basis.   I watch the Janice Dickenson Modeling Agency, the Bad Girls Club as frequently as I can stand and even less frequently The Hills and Engaged and Underage. I also eyeball the Real Housewives of Orange County and the Girls Next Door, both of which I actually enjoy, for reasons not entirely clear even to me so don't ask.

So toss in frequent American Idol the occasional Wife Swap now you have my credentials in bad reality TV and you will not only trust me but believe me when I say, Tease is probably the single worst and most stupid show, since Mo' Nique's FAT Chance.

WFT is up with Tease ? Touted as "the ultimate battle for hair supremacy as home town challengers face off against Master Stylists in outrageous hair challenges – all in front of a live studio audience", I have to interject. Since when is coloring and cutting hair AS FAST AS YOU CAN EVER a good idea- all in front of a live audience? And this pretty much what this show is all about. Two stylists "compete" in a preliminary round for the honor of competing against a "Master Stylist", read as a moderately talented hairstylist with a hugely overblown ego and sense of self, at least from what I saw the episode I forced myself to sit through this week.

The hairstyles this episode produced made me wonder. The theme of Episode 105: Rock and Roll. One hairstyle was identical to the stylist's and was the same old tired, 90's shoulder length shag, complete with fringe around the face, colored in a flat auburn red. The other style was shorter, asymetrical and PINK. Clearly the hair model was UNHAPPY. Both hairstyles sported bangs that completely covered one eye- AHOY Matie! Yohoho and bottle of rum.

Unfortunately, there were no images to share with you on the website from the episode so I can't show you pictures. Aside from the hairstyling, the set is ugly and the producers and/or director have decided to use cheesey "suspenseful" music in the Deal or No Deal genre to "enchance the experience" or some shit like that.  I think it's stupid.

And what is up with Lisa Rinna? I swear she is turning into the poster child for collagen lip injections and hoochey mama clothing. Manthing saw her and asked, " What is wrong with her lips"? While it's obvious the makeup is troweled as TV is wont to do with women, but aside from that no woman Lisa's age has giant, mishapen yet full lips. I'm sure she's a great person but she's so perky I want to drive a nail through her skull. Lisa Rinna might be becoming a caricature of herself... think Joan Rivers.

If you are struggling to remember just who the hell Lisa Rinna is she was Billie Reed on Days of Our Lives and was Taylor McBride on Melrose Place. She is also married to Harry Hamlin, which might explain a lot. Most recently she was the Tart In Residence on Dancing With the Stars and she co-hosts Soaptalk.

All in all, Tease is something watch when you have absolutely nothing else to do and you want a something to nap by.